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F*cking Machine?

Posted by Games_Master on Tue 5 Jul 2011 to Do_It_Yourself

I'm thinking of creating a fucking machine using a Kenwood Chef, but before I write in ernest to Jamie Oliver to see if him and Jules would be interested in endorsing my 'invention' in exchange for a quick buck, have any other kinksters on here tried to make something similar?

If I proceed (undeterred by Jamie's lack of enthusiasm and rubbery wet lips) I will catalogue my progress with photographs and text if anyone else is crazy enough to want to make cookie dough out of their sub.

Watch this space you perverts.....

Reply by leopard99 on Tue 5 Jul 2011

Were you planning to use the K beater or the whisk? Or perhaps the dough hook?

Have you got the liquidiser and mincer attachments:)

Reply by Games_Master on Tue 5 Jul 2011

leopard99 wrote:
Were you planning to use the K beater or the whisk? Or perhaps the dough hook?

Have you got the liquidiser and mincer attachments:)

Obviously at this stage it might be prudent to keep some of my design ideas under the old hood, just in case it takes off and I get enquiries coming in from the QVC shopping channel ;)

I was actually thinking that the whisk mechanism works on an offset cam sort of thing (my lack of engineering skills might be starting to show here!) and to attach a bar to said thing, which as it turns moves the bar backwards and forwards and with a few levers, buttons and whistles (and the odd scream from the guinea pig) it should move a strategically placed dildo in and out... that's the theory anyway!

Reply by leopard99 on Tue 5 Jul 2011

Electro_Master wrote:
I was actually thinking that the whisk mechanism works on an offset cam sort of thing ....

While I have never dismantled a Kenwood Chef I would expect the main beater assembly to work with either an epicyclic gear or a sun & planet gear. Not a cam or a crank. But then I'm an electrical engineer, not a mechanical one.

Reply by Games_Master on Tue 5 Jul 2011

leopard99 wrote:
Electro_Master wrote:
I was actually thinking that the whisk mechanism works on an offset cam sort of thing ....

While I have never dismantled a Kenwood Chef I would expect the main beater assembly to work with either an epicyclic gear or a sun & planet gear. Not a cam or a crank. But then I'm an electrical engineer, not a mechanical one.

Haha! You're just showing off now ;)

Reply by SweetTorments on Tue 5 Jul 2011

Plenty of info on that particular gearbox about. First thoughts are the stroke will be too short!

http://www.billingtonelec.co.uk/pages/helpkwgbox...

Reply by Games_Master on Tue 5 Jul 2011

SweetTorments wrote:
Plenty of info on that particular gearbox about. First thoughts are the stroke will be too short!

http://www.billingtonelec.co.uk/pages/helpkwgbox...

I thought the stroke would be a bit short as well until I saw this....

http://www.extremerestraints.com/fucking-machine...

with it's "1 inch full fuck stroke" ONE inch!! :) although to be fair the old Kenwood Chef would burst into flames if it reached the dizzy speed of 9000 strokes per minute or whatever craziness the Bang-A-Hole is!

We shall just have to suck it and see.... erm....

Reply by SweetTorments on Tue 5 Jul 2011

Electro_Master wrote:
SweetTorments wrote:
Plenty of info on that particular gearbox about. First thoughts are the stroke will be too short!

http://www.billingtonelec.co.uk/pages/helpkwgbox...

I thought the stroke would be a bit short as well until I saw this....

http://www.extremerestraints.com/fucking-machine...

with it's "1 inch full fuck stroke" ONE inch!! :) although to be fair the old Kenwood Chef would burst into flames if it reached the dizzy speed of 9000 strokes per minute or whatever craziness the Bang-A-Hole is!

We shall just have to suck it and see.... erm....

An expensive 'must have' film prop by the looks of it!

Reply by chrismanch on Tue 5 Jul 2011

NSFW

http://www.heaven666.org/butt-fucking-machine-on...

Kitchen Aid is like a Kenwood Chef

Chris

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Reply by Games_Master on Wed 6 Jul 2011

chrismanch wrote:
NSFW

http://www.heaven666.org/butt-fucking-machine-on...

Kitchen Aid is like a Kenwood Chef

Cheers Chris, that's exactly what I was thinking of, even Howard calls it a "cake mixer"! and the porn star manages to break it - I need an industrial quality machine!

Reply by TheRigger on Sat 14 Jul 2012

I have just finished and launched a machine we call the ZubJoozer NB2450 Double Thruster. Did not use a mixing machine, but a 500 W DC motor. The stroke on it is about an inch, but the dildo on it is positioned so it hits the g-spot. Let me tell you even with this small stroke it does juice the subbie - and great to get her to have multiple orgasms. Not sure it is the length of stroke that is important. compare to what the stroke works. It will have a vibration mat on it that works the clit too - motor goes up to 8,000 rpm compared to the magic wand's 6,000 rpm

Before you all rush to see if can buy one - it is not commercially available and the cost if wanted one built would be in the region of around £1000 - parts alone work out about £250 and then there is the three days labour to put it together, not to mention the 2 months designing it. We have no plans to do it commercially

We (co-designer and myself) make machines for a hobby. We have another two that we working on, one we have just finished designing and now collected together some of the bits, some parts are being machined as we speak. This machine is going to have about a 8" stroke with the option to reduce the stroke by the inch down to 2"

The third machine is going to be made purely from power tools you can buy off the shelf from the likes of B&Q or Wickes - again a small stoke with vibration. Still in design phase.

The mixing machine was a consideration as the motor is quite a powerful beast - but we managed to get our hands on the 500W DC motor first. Difficult to get hands on here - loads available in states, but expensive to get with shipping and import tax. If you know where we can get one that not expensive let me know. From what we have figured out the DC motor supplies the torque better than the AC and is a lot easier to control the speed - we have had our speed controllers purposely made to suit - not off the shelf bought controllers

Reply by Games_Master on Sun 2 Sep 2012

Thank you TheRigger, that's fascinating info there. I can only dream of having your technical expertise, maybe I should stick to the 'blue sky thinking' stuff ;)

Reply by Games_Master on Sun 2 Sep 2012

Thank you nstybstd for sharing that - I'm inspired, and yes as women have told us all along it's not the size (length) it's what you do with it (turn up the power) :)